


there's hope for our ass after all

by alanaheck (gamorage)



Series: awesome!!! wow!!!! [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, Multi, Texting, based on lin's version of the founding fathers, bc i'm not tryna imagine racist old white dudes texting, this is basically shit ngl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-12
Updated: 2016-08-12
Packaged: 2018-08-08 05:18:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7744804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gamorage/pseuds/alanaheck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>ANGIE</b>: read 1:15pm :-)</p><p><b>LIP</b>:  ANGIE THAT'S NOT HOW READ RECEIPTS WORK</p>
            </blockquote>





	there's hope for our ass after all

**Author's Note:**

> a few things: 1) this is complete and total shit and 2) for the sake of clarity, **lip** is philip hamilton (20 yrs old), **angie** is angelica hamilton (not schuyler)  & she is 19 yrs old, and **tizzie** is elizabeth hamilton, jr., who is 4 yrs old.
> 
> title from the story of us (reprise)

**HAMILTON:** dermatologists hate me

 **MADISON:** what

 **JEFFERSON:** aw don't feel bad

 **JEFFERSON:** i also hate you

 **HAMILTON:** ok 1) that was meant for a different group chat sorry

 **HAMILTON:** and 2) FUCK YOU JEFFERSON IT’S A M E M E

 **BURR:** Need I remind the two of you that this group chat was formed to contact each other about our JOBS?

 **HAMILTON:** shut the fuck up burr

 

-

 

 **ELIZA:** So, I just noticed something.

 **HAMILTON:** and what is that my dear wife

 **ELIZA:** Thomas Jefferson’s contact name on my phone has been changed to “jar jar jefferson.”

 **HAMILTON:** whaaaaat

 **ELIZA:** Any idea who might’ve done it?

 **HAMILTON:** i don’t know

 **HAMILTON:** maybe it was tizzie

 **ELIZA:** Tizzie is 4 years old.

 **HAMILTON:** i know right

 **HAMILTON:** so advanced for her age

 

-

 

 **LIP** : ur such a good sister u know that right

 **LIP:** the very best

 **LIP** : ive never had a better sister

 **ANGIE** : lmao what did u do

 **LIP** : what ???? cant ur brother appreciate ur greatness without having ulterior motives

 **ANGIE** : not when that brother is u

 **LIP** : okay rude

 **ANGIE** : lmao just tell me

 **LIP** : okay

 **LIP** : promise not to get mad

 **ANGIE** : how is it that i’m already regretting this

 **LIP** : shut up

 **LIP** : or i wont tell u and hold it against u forever

 **ANGIE** : lmao ok

 **LIP** : promise!!

 **ANGIE** : ok i promise what is it

 **LIP** : so i kind of got arrested

 **ANGIE** : LIP

 **LIP** : dont worry im fine!

 **ANGIE** : WHAT DID YOU DO

 **LIP** : okay

 **LIP** : so this kid george eacker called dad “immigrant scum” and said that he should “take his spic ass back home to mexico where he belongs”

 **LIP** : and i couldnt let that slide!

 **LIP** : esp bc of how grossly inaccurate he was

 **ANGIE** : JFC

 **ANGIE** : YES YOU COULD’VE

 **LIP** : let me finish

 **LIP** : anyways i got into it with him and it got physical

 **ANGIE** : PHILIP

 **LIP** : and then someone called the cops

 **ANGIE** : are u kidding me rn

 **LIP** : i mean technically he started it

 **LIP** : and the cops knew dad so it’s not going on my record

 **LIP** : so now all i need is a ride home

 **ANGIE** : nope

 **LIP** : what

 **ANGIE** : mom’s got the car tonight

 **ANGIE** : guess ur just gonna have to call her

 **LIP** : no

 **LIP** : ANGIE PLS

 **ANGIE** : read 1:15pm :-)

 **LIP** :  ANGIE THAT'S NOT HOW READ RECEIPTS WORK

 

-

 

 **HAMILTON** : i just told everyone that the shitlords otherwise known as thomas jefferson and james madison got cosmetic surgery to look like laf and herc

 **HAMILTON** : and are trying to convince burr to go under the knife to make him look more like me so they can continue with their off-brand #Hamilsquad

 **MULLIGAN** : we're not called the hamilsquad alex

 **LAURENS** : stop trying to make hamilsquad happen alex

 **LAFAYETTE** : stop quoting mean girls john

 **HAMILTON** : i'm offended that y'all aren't laughing

 **MULLIGAN** : you're always offended alex

 **LAFAYETTE** : we're not laughing bc it's not that funny

 **HAMILTON** : fuck u baguette boy


End file.
